Proving that America’s political landscape truly is the most entertaining thing on the face of the Earth, here are some stories from the Aftermath of the historic 2008 Presidential Election.
First up there is our winner Barack Obama, who seems to be on the fast track to becoming the next Che Guevara. Introducing…….*drumroll*
Obama Condoms, Because Nothing Makes A Man Feel Like A Real Winner Like Wearing The Next Commander In Chief On His John Thomas
The Jury is out on whether wearing the Obama condom actually makes you gay or just gay for Obama. I don’t think Che Guavera had a Condom, but then I never went looking. Next on the list:
The Vice President Of The United States Has Been Indicted
Here’s the kicker though, the indictment comes from a Texas Court of all places. The charge, corruption (surprised? If yes might I ask why?) involving an investment in and profiteering from a prison that is currently being investigated for allegations of corruption and the death of an inmate. One has to wonder how whenever Cheney manages to make headlines it’s always for something he’s done that puts him on the bottom rung of human decency. He’s got one 2 months to try and get himself off the hook with a presidential pardon or motion for dismissal otherwise the only people that are going to be able to protect him are rich businessmen. Let’s hope they manage to get him on this. And speaking of getting someone, here is the last item on the list for today:
GET THE FUCK OUT NOW TEDDY!
*Breaks out a cold one* WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHAAA! Forgive me father for I have sinned, my sin was breaking my own cardinal rule. Never assume, because when you assume you make an ass out of you and me. Yes, I was wrong, I completely and 100% admit it. Ted Stevens did in fact lose his seat to Mark Begich, which proves that justice does exist in Alaska and applies to Senator’s with 7 felony convictions against them. Must be a really great month to be an American. That’s pretty much the last of the key douchebags in the American Political system getting their commupance. It all began in 2006 with the ejection of Rick Santorum and Tom DeLay and followed through with a bye bye to Donald Rumsfeld, Alberto Gonzalez (also on the same indictment least Cheney is on) in the course of two years. Now we say good bye at last to Ted Stevens, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney.
Politics is my passion. Nothing beats it, not Gundam, not video games, not anything. And truly this has been one hell of a month to indulge in my passion.