The Top 20 Most Ass Kicking, Crotch Stomping, Badass Lolis Around: #14 (Part 1)

No I hadn’t forgotten about this, I’ve just been very limited in access to my computer for the past couple weeks.  On with the list (by the way #14 is a tie so hopefully the second #14 rank holder we be up tomorrow)…..

Coming at number 14 (Mirrinus if you are still around this one you’ll like) is the Spiritual Leader of Begnion in Fire Emblem Path Of Radiance

sanaki-1-00.jpg

Number 15: Apostle Sanaki

Alluring Quality 7/10: Very modest dress is necessary of the apostle, but look at those piercing yellow eyes, raven hair and that stone cold commanding face.  You can see why she’s the spiritual leader of the most powerful theocratic empire on the continent of Tellius as it’s hard not to be drawn towards her and to seek to please her by her gaze alone.

Callousness 5/10:  Looking at how she treats Ike when they first meet she seems like the most cold hearted person imaginable, but in reality she is quite humble and this is only a ruse so she can get to the bottom of what the senate is plotting in Begnion and to atone for the sins of her predecessors as apostle.  She’s still kind of a rude little bitch even after her true colours are revealed so she scores a 5 though.

Power 7/10: She commands an entire emperial army that is a match for the might of Daein, the main invading empire and antagonist in the game, plus in the sequel she will be playable character with her own tome, which usually means asskicking in Fire Emblem.  Edit: Now that the games out, Sanaki does indeed rape most units sideways on a stick with her Cymbeline spell and is one of the best units in the game.  She’s now 13 so still qualifies for this Top 20 List.

Lolidom Factor 9/10: “I’m surrounded by idiots”, “Bow before me”, “Watch your tongue or I should have you executed”  “Do this”, “Do that”, *Whip sound effect*.  All you have to do is listen to her speak and you’ll see just what a bossy self-righteous lolidomin’ monster she is, and it’s only going to get worse (in my case better actually) in Goddess of Dawn when she smites enemies by her own hand.  She only loses one point for the fact that all that she does is for a righteous cause, though she choses the past of walking over the most bodies to get to it.

Loliness 6/10:  She may have a cute face, but Sanaki is always sharp as a tack and doesn’t miss beat.  She’s intelligent beyond her years, and is never seen doing anything little girls generally do.  She get’s 6 points for her appearance, but that’s all in the end due to her personality.

Overall 34/50:  Don’t mess with Sanaki if you value your future.  It’s best just to go with the flow as she is probably going to get her way in the end and it generally won’t hurt you…much (maybe a bruised ego and some emasculation).  Sanaki is high up their for me, will eventually have the asskicking factor, she’s certainly plays by her own rules and she breaks men like no tomorrow, but she’s actually in truth a humble person.  I won’t spoil how this comes about for anyone who intends to play the game, but people will see once they do.

Tomorrow I hope to bring everyone part 2 of the #14 slot.  I hope things go as planned.

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2 Responses to “The Top 20 Most Ass Kicking, Crotch Stomping, Badass Lolis Around: #14 (Part 1)”


  1. 1 Mirrinus July 24, 2007 at 5:47 am

    Lol…actually, I don’t have a Gamecube, so I never actually played Path of Radiance.

  2. 2 Kevin July 27, 2007 at 11:56 pm

    Hahahahahahahahahahahaha… Very, VERY funny. The Lolidom Factor was the best part. The girl really scares me sometimes. 🙂 Can’t wait to see how good she is in battle when I get the sequel.


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