Moetan/Lolitan Episode 3 Examination


It’s finally time to get back in gear with Moetan, the show deemed so risque that an episode was recently pulled from Television and replaced with a clip show….

Summary: We begin with Ink and Arks watching a cheesy slasher film and Ink getting scared and ducking under a pillow (apparently according to Arks her voice is scary too.  It ultimately turns out that the movie makes no sense and just has bad dialogue (My view)


You Might Wanna Turn Around There Pedoduck

In school the next day is teased by the two normal sized girls for being too scared to go to the toilet on account of a crappy B-Movie. (Read Japanese Horror OHHHH SNAAAAP!)  Then Sumi decides to join in on the fun with her haughty laugh and seizes the advantage over Ink. (Thanks for translating the Kanji Ahoge there Kedex…..sheesh if anyone knows what it said please let me know.  We do get a devil tail ahoge though)  Anyway apparently Sumi is popular with Remi (Ink’s older friend) as well for being chibi and spunky.


Sumi tries to invite Nao along to her villa (Heart Ahoge) when everyone else invites themselves along as well and Nao agrees thinking it’ll be fun (Sweatdrop Ahoge).  Mistakenly thinking Sumi isn’t devious, the other girls thank her for her kindness (YOU INVITED YOURSELVES) and she decides to I assume use this opportunity to get closer to Nao.


That’s How I Like Ma Lolis, All Haughty And Self Assured

Meanwhile during a Pastel Ink/Nao training session we learn that “TV Sutashions Ge Agury We Deliveries A Late”.  When Nao mentions he’s going away for the weekend and won’t be able to learn any more Engrish, Pastel Ink uses the chance to find out (rather aggressively) if Nao is interested in any of the girls (This is a harem getaway after all).  Just one…………………………………………………..Nijihara Ink.  This starts Pastel Ink (Isn’t that nickname a dead giveaway) dreaming about running along the beach with Nao. (Which when it zooms out to a landscape view looks like some older guy running with a little girl).  When going in for the kiss Nao pulls her out and tells her that “Nijihara Ink is very…..(anticipation builds) short”. (DUHHHHHH!) 


You Wouldn’t Like Her When She’s Angry

Then Nao drops a line about how Ink inspires him to work hard and not suck (The usual cliche) and so she get’s all embarassed and knock him out by swinging poor Arks around.


Somebody Wanna Call The SPCA On The Loli

Meanwhile at Stately Sumi Manor, Sumi is getting packed for the trip and….


Is That A Camel Toe……. Jeez Louise They’re Going All Out

Anyway she packs Ka-Kun by accident and meanwhile at the school everyone is waiting for her including Nao’s lil sis Miu.  It turns out that Sumi went back to sleep afterward and never woke up, so the maid get’s her out of bed by slapping her and tossing her into the car with a driver who when saying “yes” kinda sounds like a walrus…..


This Girl Makes Me Look Driven

They arrive, Sumi still sleeping in the back, and everybody is off.  Ink wonders about Sumi’s cat Pajama’s (Zzz Ahoge) Apparently the Maid can get Sumi to say crazy stuff like “Don’t. Let Go Of Me. Awaaaaa”in her sleep just by suggesting it, which either means it’s run of the mill mumblings she says in her sleep (Judging by how nonchalant the maid is about it) or it’s another bit of torture she can inflict on Sumi as it causes Sumi to bug out in her sleep (I can only imagine).


Mind Torture

So then Prurient (the maid) slaps Sumi with her slipper causing her to scream about Giants appearing and using the song to bring back culture. (Zentraedi in Macross)  Embarassed about Ink seeing her in her Pajama’s Sumi puts the Submission hold on Ink and just when she gives up the slipper falls on Sumi via the maid. (Slapstick in a good way)


Rina Looking Like Lu Bu In A Pro Wrestling Outfit


Remi With Nothing Special Going On

Everyone arrives alive at the villa and it’s time for some swimming fun.  Here Are The Highlights:


Anyway once Remi starts to drown thinking something was pulling her in, the fun ends and it’s dinner time with a massive feast.  When everybody starts talking about how great the food is (Like my mother who says the foods amazing every 5 seconds during her own dinner) the power starts to fail.  During the horrible night Remi sees a ghost and goes to report to a disbelieving and haughty Sumi who denies such things exist to a scared Ink.

Ink and Sumi then head off into the hallway to parts unknown (actually the bathroom).  Meanwhile Miu is harping at Nao for hogging the whole bed when the toys in her room start to come alive and attack her.  Lucky for her she’s apparently a Newtype.




Distorted Newtype Style Theme Plays As Miu Dodges All The Attacks Like She’s Amuro Ray


Man They Just Don’t Let Up On The Service.  It’s Mecha And Loli Service Like Crazy, Almost To Much For Me To Handle

Meanwhile in the “Bathroom” which is actually a Sauna.  Ink reminds Sumi of when they were young and used to hang out in the bathroom all the time *Yuri fiend the world over suddenly perk up* cuing a flashback montage.  Sumi claims to have forgotten (with a conveniently placed censor duck) until Ink starts a water fight.


Flashback: To Much Loli To Handle.  You Know They Don’t Look All That Different Here Then They Do Now.

 Arks claims it’s now his time to appear and just as he tries to sneak a peak with him, Cat Viral shows up and they start there own scuffle.


I Imagine This Is A Reference To When Oolong Wished For A Pair Of Panties And Then Wore Them On His Thread For The Rest Of The Emperor Pilaf Saga In Dragonball.

Both end up in the Sauna Bathroom and are severely punished, but Sumi is now revealed to be Ka-Kun’s partner.  Ink is ecstatic that Sumi is a magical girl and starts jumping up and down doing the “Waaiiiiiiiii” thing.  Then the power goes out again and it’s up to Tempera Sumi and Pastel Ink to save the day by going into the basement to follow a mysterious voice.  This time we get a split screen transformation sequence for twice the Magical Loli fun.

On the way down they are attack by flying pigs, but that doesn’t deter our heroines.  Apparently it’s the Legendary Underground Pig according to Arks and one of 65,535 extraordinaire’s. (apparently Arks works in Integers)  At the end of the tunnel in the basement lies……..


The Treasure Room Of Tortures

Not to fear however as the Pedophile from the previous two episode Dandee is here to save the day with his “Dandee Rolling Thunder Kick”. (which sounds like something Terry Bogard would use)  Dandee let’s us know that “Limited Item Reservations Are One Per Person” and Pastel Ink understands, but unfortunately Dandee has to leave just as the cop enters the treasure room, which apparently houses all of the Kuroi families treasure. (You’re expecting me to say WTF, but I’ve seen random so many times this just amuses me) The two folow a door leading to Prurient’s room where she is drunk and talking to the ghost Murito.  Apparently she was a ward of the Kuroi family around 100 years ago and played the prank on everybody out of boredom and lonliness.  Curiously she can also see Arks real form (though I don’t know if this will come up again).  After the journey home the episode ends with Murito and Ink watching the B-Movie again and both getting scared with Arks claiming Ink shouldn’t be frightened with a real ghost sitting right next to her.

Sumi handles the technoish and chirpy ending (which kind of sounds like a Kirby Tune) as well as Tempera Sumi covering the Moetan corner with, “Eve Tho I do Wa Espensive Figures, I Just Buy Sem Because Se A Cheap”.


Well, this show is definitely made for the likes of me.  It doesn’t just stop at having good art, but with all the twisted humour, randomness, Loli Fanservice, Mecha References Including Macross and Gundam (and not only that, acting out of the references on occassion instead of just presenting them, much like with Haruhi in Lucky Star) it’s very hard not to like the show, at least for me.  Some people may be turned off by all the naked loli’s running about this time around or the randomness of some of the events, or on just plain not getting some of the Mecha bases jokes,  but I really like every single one of the characters and gags so far, each of which contributes something to the mix and makes Moetan one of the funniest and funnest comedy shows for me to watch in recent memory.  This episode even got me to like the generic maid character, which is a huge feat considering how boring I usually find that particular fetish, on top of that I think a ghost just joined the cast as well.  Also Miu scored some points with me for her spunk and apparent crazy skills, she also looks like a potential psycho in the opening so I hope to see more of her now that her character has progressed beyond bumping into Ink outside her house while she’s spying on Nao.  Sumi is still by far my favourite being the most amusing one with her haughty mannerisms, Context Sensitive Ahoge and overall appereance.  Please, PLEASE let this be a 26 episode series so we can see more of Ink, Sumi, Miu, Arks,  Ka-Kun and friends.

Rating: Nine And A Half Out Of Ten



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August 2007
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