Moetan Episode 05 (Time For Things To Get Movin….Right?)


Finally some more Lolitan thanks to the people at Lolidan, which has now overtaken Kedex on the Moetan subs, who seem to have dropped out of the fansubbing game entirely. That matters not cause it’s Loli’s Time (That’s actually a valid translation of Kodomo No Jikan according to some Chinese Bootlegger) again…… wait wrong show……

Summary: We begin with Ink being teased by her friends over watching a childs program on TV (Hey she’s just acting her height) and they tell her to watch another program called Cerulean Palace with the Moe heroine (sounds like something I’m watching right now). As Ink says goodbye she see’s a floating Red Balloon, just like in her favourite kids program, and Nao see’s it too. At Ink’s house her mother tells her that she used to buy her balloons and that one day when her balloon floated away she started to cry. Ma tells Ink she was quiet the crybaby back then.


And As We Can See Many Things Haven’t Changed Since Then


Believe It Or Not, Nao’s English Sentence May Be Clearer Then Any Uttered Yet By Even Pastel Ink

Meanwhile in school Nao-Kun is doing much better with his english reading thanks to Pastel Ink’s help and Ink is very very chipper. Teach complements Nao and then her gaze falls on Sumi (Exclamation Point Ahoge. God how I missed Sumi and her crazy hair). Sumi starts shaking her head, but teach calls out to her anyway (poor Sumi and er sweatdrop ahoge, cause a normal one alone isn’t good enough for Sumi).




She’s A Mumbler! I Knew It!


Yeah Well Unlike In America, Being Disgustingly Rich And/Or Cute Won’t Let You Skimp On Education. Sumi Fails!

Ink feels sorry for Sumi and want’s to help her, but is afraid she’ll just get mad. She also think she looks really sad, but in reality Sumi just falls asleep on the spot. On the way home the trouble alert sounds and Arks calls to Usagi-Chan that there’s trouble (Sailor Moon Reference). Inks confused, but Arks says he always wanted to try that (so he wishes he were a cat eh), so they are off (with Arks commenting on Pastel Inks fine ass). Apparently somebody kid drowning in a river (OH NO!), and Pastel Ink arrives with a drooling Arks in tow, only to see Tempera Sumi and Ka-Kun come plummetting out of the sky and into the water. Now Pastel Ink has two people to rescue.


Not A Problem, Pastel Ink Just Uses “Bubbles….Whatever” To Save The Day. Apparently Not Calling Out The Full Spell Name Has No Effect On It’s Resolution


BURN! And Just Of Note, The Writers Really Seem To Get Their Kicks Out Of Torturing Poor Sumi Who’s Emitting Some Sort Of Rainbow Over There In The Background



Apparently Ka-Kun fell in the water now too and Arks wants to go in and save him, but first the old perverted man shows up and they have a Tokusatsu moment where the old man tells Arks after all he’s done for this great earth that anymore will burn out his lifeforce (NO ULTRAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!). He dives in anyway and apparently can’t swim either. Finally it’s up to Tempera Sumi to actually do something and she summons a fishing line to pull the two out of the water. The day is saved again and Sumi decides to go home.


Anyone Ever Hear Of A Pedo Horse?

WAIT! What’s That?! It’s a giant horse and Alice is riding it babbling her stuff about time starting to move and all that (at this point I’m now aware she’s actually a parody of the mysterious odd girl out in magical girls shows that seems to know more than they are letting on and shows up periodically to talk crytically and issue challenges. In Alice’s case I’m sure she doesn’t know jack all though).



Damn Duck Doesn’t Know When To Stop

After an initial attack Alice tells Pastel Ink to look into her to see why they are fighting, and Arks starts feeling up Pastel Ink’s chest commenting on the shape, and get’s tossed over to Alice by Pastel Ink, where he doest the same thing with her before being flung to the ground. Pastel Ink demands to know why Alice is attacking her again, and she says Arks is the reason along with more gibberish and then sicks the horse on Pastel Ink. Arks wakes up just in time to dispel the horse back to it’s own dimension, but Alice seizes the opportunity to fling them through the gate (giggling all the way like some supervillain) into some place of unknown time and destination (her words).


You Crushed Arks That’s What

Apparently it’s Inks own neighbourhood, but when a girl behind her tugs on her ribbon and asks her to play, it turns out to be…..


That’s right, they’re stuck in the past.



Good To Know Eyecatch Parental Figures

Pastel Ink is chilling with lolier Sumi and finds out that Sumi was being taught English all the way back then by Ruriko (The Maid), who then speeds by on a bike and picks up Sumi, telling her she shouldn’t be hanging around cosplayers and snatches her away to study.


Does Anyone Think She Looks Like She’s Only 2 Years Old?

Meanwhile, Pastel Ink is wondering how she is going to get back to the present, and Arks says just to wait and give him time for his magic reserve to recover. In the meantime they decide to travel the town and end up outside Ink’s house, where she immediately does her panicked duck behind the door only to be discovered by her much younger looking mother. Pastel Ink introduces herself as Ink’s friend from school “Penki” (Get it, Ink->Pen…..Oh God *shakes head*). Apparently Ink’s past self was out at the time, so Mama just brushes some dirt off of “Penki’s” face and says she’s a cute elementary school girl (See, now Ink’s loliness is better for something than just being auto-awesome, she can pass for an elementary schoolgirl in the past as well), which of course upsets her.


Nothing Special, I Just Find Pastel Ink’s Face To Be Spastic And Amusing Here


Obligatory Gundam Reference

Just out of interest, it seems the young cop and Dandy-san were in their eternal chase even this far back. Anyway back in the park (with a clock that says Moegiko), Arks magic still hasn’t recharged when Lolier Sumi shows up again to play with Pastel Ink (So cute it can probably kill, she also has this plush doll version of Ka-Kun she carries around).


It’s Ka-Kun MK I

Anyway, a montage of Pastel Ink teaching Sumi english starts, but when she get’s the the Five W’s, Sumi starts to get confused because it’s too advanced and bursts into tears (Oh Ink made the Loli cry, Game Over…..wait does it count if you are one…..Now I’m Confused). Ruriko comes up on her bike to take Sumi home again and it looks like it’s more english drills for her (I think all this trauma is probably why she sucks so bad at English in the present, she never could learn it at a proper pace). Meanwhile, a fight breaks out in the park between some boy’s and when Pastel Ink calls over for them to stop, 3 of the boys break off (Awwwww, she should have kicked their asses lolidom style), leaving a young Nao-Kun, who’s past version is actually shorter than present Ink (Yes, I’m actually mildy surprised by this). Nao-Kun still wants to be a fighter, but Pastel Ink offers to play with him, and gives him a…..


MR. GAME & WATCH! Actually Just A Game And Watch. I Had One Of These

Apparently, he’s never actually played a game before, but soon he becomes addicted (It’s all your fault your friends suck at school Ink. I hope you’re happy). Young Nao reveals that the reason he got into a fight with the boys is that they were teasing his friend and made her let go of her red balloon (Guess who that friend might be), but Pastel Ink hugs him and tells him that his friend will probably be eternally grateful and that he doesn’t have to hold a grudge.



Anyway, Ink’s screwing up the time line ends just in time for Arks to be read to cast the spell to send them back to the present.


Oh, We’re All Boned Now

Back in the present, Mieu is trying to do her homework while Pastel Ink crash lands outside, causing her to bitch at her onii-chan to keep things quieter. They do some English lessons where I swear Nao sounds like he’s speaking into a can when he says the English part.


It’s Either Dragon/Generic Quest Or Puyo Pop

Nao breaks to play one of his games and Pastel Ink gets upset at him for playing to many games, not even realizing she’s the reason, and the Game & Watch she gave him is still sitting there on his table. Back home it’s up to Arks to explain to her once and for all that she’s the reason behind all her present friend troubles.


The Ending This Time Is Ink Prancing Around Her House As The Seasons Shift From One To The Other.


I Sort Of Did This The Other Day, But It Was Actually Just Me Snapping A Trauma Center Cartridge In Half, My DS Is Still Fine

Thoughts: I swear Moetan get’s an unfairly bad rap, and that if it hadn’t come out around the same time as Lucky Star, which people seemed to feel compelled to like more than every other comedy series at the time (dare I say almost at the expense of other comedy shows for the Kyoani Fanboy crowd), and had it gotten more consistant subbing, it wouldn’t have been thought of as some sort of unfunny pedo pandering trash anime (It certainly is edgier though, but I see that as a good thing). That said I found the first half of this episode to be amusing, with Arks working in the Sailor Moon reference, daring to cop a feel on not only Ink, but the substantially more dangerous and violent Alice, and thinking he was ultra-man. Also Sumi was her usual scatter brained self as well, which is always welcome (as is her ahoge). The second half was funny and provided some good character development for Ink, Sumi and Nao as Ink tried to do a good deed for all of them, teaching them some values, but also having something blow up in her face as well in the present. She basically save Nao from going down the path to becoming a hoodlum, and helped the young Sumi gain some independence, but also turned Nao into a compulsive gamer and traumatized Sumi for life when it comes to her and English. I also find the endings to be on par with the one’s that Lucky Star showcased. It’s sort of the reverse of the first half of Lucky Star’s openings with the video changing instead of the song (I think I might have already mentioned this). Anyway, solid episode, Moetan is still funny and fresh (this is also around the same episode count where I felt Lucky Star was starting to wear thin), I feel it is quite underated, and I hope now that Lucky Star is over, people who are just now watching the subs (as they start to get more frequent releases) can give Moetan the fair chance it deserves, without having to hold any loyalties or balance favourites for the season.

Rating: Nine And A Half Out Of Ten


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