Is That Worth A Lot Or A Little, It’s Hard For Me To Determine Value With Someone As Worthless As Lira On The Screen
New DS to replace the one you stupidly broke? $129.99. New Samsung flat screen 32″ HDTV to replace the old shitty one you’ve had for 5 years? $599.99. Spending the day with your family getting your room organized so that you can fit said TV in there? Priceless. There are some things in life money can’t buy, and for everything else there’s blogging about Tytania. It’s been a good run so far, the Tytania market of quality anime has been strong, you’d almost think it could last forever. Well, we thought that about the real world economy and it didn’t quite work out that way.
Now I want you to imagine if you will that the Tytanian family scenes are the equivalent of a nice freshly minted $1 Canadian Looney. Not the best currency in the world, but strong enough to stand on it’s own. This means that they relatively good value and you probably wouldn’t mind getting a hold of a few of them to watch right? Now imagine if you will that a Lira scene last episode was the equivalent of a Turkish Lira in 1966, about an 8th of a Canadian Looney which we are using to represent the Tytanian family scenes. So 1 Lira scene is worth the equivalent of 8 Tytania scenes. Not very valuable, especially considering the prominence of Tytanian scenes last episode, but because of those Tytanian scenes we’re still okay.
Now we hit episode 4, but imagine if you will that a Lira scene is now worth the equivalent of a Turkish Lira in the year 2001, worth approximately 1,369,500th of a Canadian Looney which we are still using to represent the Tytanian Family. Yikes, not very valuable, especially considering the abundance of them taking time from Tytania scenes and devaluing the whole stock to almost worthless levels. It’s the equivalent of the stock market threatening to crash from lack of value (or in this case, good scenes) and that is what it feels like at times to be watching this episode of Tytania. Once we are through here you will hopefully come to understand why I as an investor of something equally valuable into this show (that being my time) might start to lose a little confidence in the market of Tytania TV.
Exhibit A: Lira’s Pants And Hiding Fan Hulic
In this “hilarious” scene we start off with, Fan is hidden from some arrogant Tytania soldiers and are made fools of in the process. Oh that Lira, saving the day with your good old fashioned wits. The scene scores some points for the sentimentality of Lira’s outfit, which we find out was given to her by her grandmother. The same outfit that was made fun of by the soldier’s and by my last episode with the poll because it really does look ridiculous. Anyway, that explains the really weird jean….thingies.
Overall Effect On The Tytanian Market: ↑200/↓500
Exhibit B: Salisch Is Pissed
Alses failed to secure Fan Hulen Hulic as we saw last episode and is now trying to take him out against Salisch’s orders since he knows that Fan has fallen in with an Anti-Tytanian crowd. I guess that’s what happens when you refuse to let somebody deliver the prisoner right to you out of pettiness and piss off your own brother in the process with such a slight. Very intriguing and you know that Alses is enjoying this because Salisch is clearly the one at fault here. Everything is going fine until mommy dearest steps into the room to say hello to Alses. Theresa Tytania is your run of the mill corpulent woman from the upper crust, very doting and dressed up all fancy. She’s not so much greedy and stupid seeming as much as she’s typical of the type of woman you’d find in such a position in a partriarchal family stucture. Still I didn’t care much for the interupption of the political maneuvering and am going to make a note of it here.
Overall Effect On The Tytanian Market: ↑400/↓100
Exhibit C: Idris Is A Dick….Again
Idris is pleased that Salisch has faltered in capturing Fan Hulic and in noting this, Emperor Harsha seems to be rooting for Fan Hulic to become a saviour. Not surprising as this is in keeping with his outrage when he thought Tytania was going to win yet another battle in episode 1 and kicked the TV screen asking if there was nobody who could defeat the mighty clan. Now this could lead to something if Harsha decides to break from Idris and join a rebellion. With his position as Emperor, even if it’s in name only, he could mobilize a lot of people fast and that could give Fan his fleet to fight off Tytania. Just throwing out scenarios for the war Ajman seems to want.
Overall Effect On The Tytanian Market: ↑600/↓0
Exhibit D: Lira’s Shower Scene
The value of this show just plummets whenever she’s on screen, but then again she is worth about 1,369,500 of a Tytania so it makes sense I suppose. In another hilarious scene Fan walks in on Lira in the shower as if this Space Opera is now a cliche harem series and slapping and the throwing of bathroom products ensues. We are shown hope though in De Bohr’s talk with Fan afterward where he says that without knowing it Fan has caused a stagnant river to flow again. I’m assuming he’s referring to single handedly ending countless decades of Tytanian victories and dominance and allowing the universe to see another option. Well he better get back to doing that because as long as he’s hanging out with Lira things are going to start stagnating even faster then they ever did under Tytanian dominance.
Overall Effect On The Tytanian Market: ↑10/↓1000
Exhibit E: Wherein Fan Proves That Lira Is Worth Less Then The Monopolyesque Money He Is Trying To Hand To Her As Thanks
Even Fan is mocking her worthlessness now. It’s sad enough she has to suck the value out of any scene she is in, but now she has a physical represenation of her comical worth on screen with her at the same time. Can we get a closer look at that?
Oh Yeah, That Can’t Be Worth All That Much. I See A 30 On There. Still Lira Is Worth Less Then This Funky Play Money She’s Being Presented With And I Intend To Prove It In A Moment
For now though Fan informs Lira that her revolution game is a bust, a mere dream. He tells her it’s better to live the quiet life on Emmental, and you know what, he’s got a point when there’s nothing really to fight for. Her country is gone, but at least she has her life, however worthless that might be, it’s still worth something, right? Well I agree, but for this advice she freaks out on him. Please do forfeit your worthless life Lira so that we might get on with this show.
Overall Effect On The Tytanian Market: ↑100/↓550
Exhibit F: Putting The Loli Princess To Bed
After a hard day of gardening Lydia calls it quits and heads to bed. She’s curious to know if Fan has been captured so that her father will help her in the garden again, but the butler says unfortunately has not. I kind of actually like the innocence of this scene. Lydia means no harm and doesn’t realize that Fan is in danger, she just wants her dad to spend time with her. I get the sense she’s here mostly to represent the innocent amongst a gang of power players and rebels like Tytania and Fan respectively. There’s really no problem with that in my opinion.
Overall Effect On The Tytanian Market: No Change
Exhibit G: Wherein Lira’s A Whore
In a desperate attempt to get Fan to stay, first Lira tries to prostitute herself to him. She must not think she’s worth much either if she has to go that low in order to get what she wants, but it gets worse
Yeah that’s it, hold a gun to the guy who you want to help you and who also wants what’s best for you
Despite all the bullshit he’s put up with with regard to Lira so far, Fan plays it cool the whole time and gets to the bottom of things. Before he can do anything else though, Tytantian soldiers barge in on them. It seems Lira’s grandmother has sold them out for the bounty money and the chance at a “better lifestyle”. How worthless does someone have to be for their own family to sell them out. These really are kind of horrible people, both Lira and her grandmother. Both are selfish, one is greedy and the other is just annoying, but none of them has stopped to consider what Fan wants in life. I say ditch them the first moment he can get. It gets stupider and more unfortunate though. Suddenly Lira makes a dash for Fan as if to kiss him and then manages to tranquilize the stunned Tytanian soldiers. I just find this so sad that a hopeless character of a teenage idealist is able to accomplish this and it really speaks to the lower quality and frankly intelligence in scripting of her scenes in comparison to Tytanian ones.
Overall Effect On The Tytanian Market: ↑0/↓900
Exhibit H: Wherein Fan Runs Away, Is Captured Again Within A Minute And Is Rescued By…
It really says something when the episode immediately gets more interesting with Fan’s scenes the second Lira is out of the picture. Now Fan is dealing directly with her benefactor, the former princess of Casabianca, who is quite butch as well as being handy with a taser. I like her already and I’ve barely gotten to know her….or perhaps I’m just glad Fan is rid of Lira for another woman now.
Overall Effect On The Tytanian Market: ↑300/↓100
Exhibit I: Tytanian Talk
According to Ajman, he feels that Tytanian family heads have been growing weaker for a while and he is grateful for Fan having taught something to Ariabart. I’m assuming that something is the sting of defeat and the will to improve oneself in the art of war. Speaking of war, you better get moving on those plans for one if you don’t want things to stagnate any further.
Overall Effect On The Tytanian Market: ↑300/↓0
Exhibit J: Wherein even De Bohr leaves Lira
De Bohr learning that Lira and grandma have driven Fan away leaves Lira behind with words of disappoint in failing to secure what they feel is their ticket to a revived Casabianca. While De Bohr is a douche and I’d probably be feeling sorry for Lira right now under normal circumstances, it really is kind of half her fault that he left. Perhaps if she had eased her way into the topic of rebellion instead of trying to force Fan to join her and been able to show him some sort of benefit for it then something might of come of all this. For now though Fan has left her for his next adventure and I say good riddance.
Overall Effect On The Tytanian Market: No Change
Exhibit K: Miranda, A Better Opportunity
No I really do like Miranda a lot. For one, she’s strong willed without being stupid in the process and she manages to convince Fan pretty quickly to become a member of her merchant crew. She’s the opposite of Otaku eye-candy and personality that Lira was and to top it all off, despite having the most to lose in the fall of Casabianca, she’s content with being able to have a simple life and live it the way she choses. All the things Lira is not, plus the talent of leadership, plus a fun nature make Miranda a female character I’m going to be glad to see when Fan scenes come up in the future. Old man Compton the captain of Miranda and Fan’s new investment, the Honest Old Man also serves to highlight the brutality of Tytania to Fan for the first time. How does Tytania deal with vocal dissidents, they get rid of the voice….literally by crushing their voice box. Uncool.
Overall Effect On The Tytanian Market: ↑600/↓0
Tytania’s Stocks Closed At: ↑2510/3150
Net Loss: 640 Points
Ouch, good thing I actually don’t know a thing about the way the stock market works in reality, but what I do know is that this episode left me disappointed on a number of levels. This episode brings us stagnation of the kind Ajman keeps talking about, and Lira is still annoying. I can only thank god she’s out of the show for the time being (I hope so at least) and pray that things get moving now. The best way to get a stagnant economy moving is to start a war, well one of the best ways, and I can’t help but think that’s just the thing that Tytania needs now to get things moving again, a war. Right now Tytania’s stocks are low and I’ve lost a bit of confidence in the investment I’ve made in Tytania, but things look like they are going to start moving again from the preview, and any economist will tell you to buy into a stock with a low value if it looks like it’s going to start gaining some. So….I might as well go all in now and hope for the best next week. Please don’t let the Space Opera poison that is Lira worm her way back in now. She’s now officially in the running for my worst character of the year Dubious Achievement award that I’m going to be giving out near the end of December along with Gino Weinberg from Code Geass R2 and Keiichi from Kurogane No Linebarrels.